"...You disappeared, and we thought -- I thought you were..."
Gently, Tuo says, "I know." A pause. "But you know I cannot ignore my calling."
There is no point in offering an apology, not when he knows that he would make the same choice again if he had to. Perhaps that is where the argument might arise: the necessity of the abandonment of everyone he loved, all he had left of Saaristomeri after the typhoon, based on a childhood dream. (It is more than just a dream, to him, and the typhoon Night's scathing rebuke of his inaction. He won't make that mistake again.)
He brings up the mug to drink from it once, then carefully sets it on the table. When he speaks again, his voice is carefully measured. "I thought it would be the kinder thing to do, to let you believe I had died of the sweating sickness with the other children. I believed I would be dead soon anyway." At last he looks up to meet Dain's eyes; his own are shadowed with resigned sadness. "But there is no kindness in hurting the ones you love. I deserve your anger, Anja, and if I have pushed you to this.." There he trails off and gestures, wordless, at the Shepherd's clothes that his friend wears.
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Gently, Tuo says, "I know." A pause. "But you know I cannot ignore my calling."
There is no point in offering an apology, not when he knows that he would make the same choice again if he had to. Perhaps that is where the argument might arise: the necessity of the abandonment of everyone he loved, all he had left of Saaristomeri after the typhoon, based on a childhood dream. (It is more than just a dream, to him, and the typhoon Night's scathing rebuke of his inaction. He won't make that mistake again.)
He brings up the mug to drink from it once, then carefully sets it on the table. When he speaks again, his voice is carefully measured. "I thought it would be the kinder thing to do, to let you believe I had died of the sweating sickness with the other children. I believed I would be dead soon anyway." At last he looks up to meet Dain's eyes; his own are shadowed with resigned sadness. "But there is no kindness in hurting the ones you love. I deserve your anger, Anja, and if I have pushed you to this.." There he trails off and gestures, wordless, at the Shepherd's clothes that his friend wears.