northclifflogs | Open | Some used your name for glory

He's been practicing, actively practicing, is the only thing Detlef can assume. After their last conversation he'd been fairly convinced it would take a lot of time before Colin would try using anything, but clearly something's changed.

A few moments of quiet pass before he's nodding, slowly.

"I've a little ability with plants," he says in something only slightly louder than a whisper, "but most of it is with animals. Maybe that's because that's what I practice and use it for, most of the time." Though there are certainly more than a few plants that are doing very well around the stables that owe more to him than nature.

"Do you... Do you have a goal?" A reason for the practicing? And using?

That gets some hesitation. Colin isn't sure he can put it into words. He looks down at the newly-planted blade of grass.

"I'm...not sure, actually. In my head, I think of making things lovelier, making things green and fertile. Making the village prosper. Getting it through hard times. But of course none of that is allowed and isn't very private at all. So it's, it's dreams, rather than goals, right now. Once I find out what else I can do, maybe there will be goals."

"It's got to be small," he agrees quietly. "They're not going to accept it."

Gods, sometimes he feels like he shouldn't accept it. He has a gift, it saves animal lives, but what if that's just the temptation speaking and he's doing ill by being weak? He needs to pray more and make sure his heart is in the right place. Make sure it's just helping, and not his ego, or pride, or something, that motivates him.

“So come with me somewhere,” Colin whispers. “Help me experiment. Maybe in the woods, where no one can see. As soon as the sun comes up tomorrow.”

There's so much danger in this. There's possibly so many violations of what's right, too. All he's done deliberately previously was to help animals and others, not himself, and this is absolutely crossing that line. Detlef feels lost. Eventually, though, he nods.

"We have to be very careful, though. There are a few new people in the village, people who wouldn't be bothered by selling us out because they don't know us."

That reaction takes the wind out of Colin's sails. Detlef is a comparatively pious man, but he'd also wanted this for Colin. A glance about confirms no one is listening.

"You wanted me to do this," he whispers. "Now I'm saying yes. What's wrong?"

It's a good question.

"I do want this. I want us to be able to use the Vice to help. I'm just... scared, sometimes. I'm sorry." He needs to find his confidence again, the confidence that has had him making animals well for years here, on his own. Detlef takes a breath. "It's good. I'm good. Don't mind me."

He's started something. Now he has to hope it's the right sort of something.

Colin didn't shake off the religious upbringing overnight. It took years for him to question it, to stop hating himself, to realize that even people who claim to be divine are willing to lie. Slowly, he leans in to give Detlef a hug. He speaks into his ear, as softly as possible.

"You're afraid it could be a slippery slope. That we'll become something other than what we are."

He leans into a hug and swallows hard before nodding.

"I don't know at what step we cross the line and become what everyone fears. I don't think I will... but doesn't everyone think that? Most people certainly don't set out to do the wrong thing." Detlef desperately wants to be a good person.

A gentle nod.

"We'll make an oath. If one of us goes too far, the other one stops him. All right?"

Detlef holds out a hand.

"Agreed. We keep sight of what we're doing this for, and what's right and good." He has a stopgap now, if he goes wrong. But that doesn't mean Colin needs to be the only person Detlef speaks with. He should see what Lance thinks, too. He's old enough to know some stuff.

Colin shakes the offered hand. He doesn't believe in the gods, but he believes in a great many other things he knows nothing about, and even he can't rule out the gods' existence. His disbelief comes from disillusionment and bitterness more than logic. Maybe he has it all wrong. That's why this alliance is important.

"So...where do we meet?"

It's a good question. He looks past Colin for a few oments as he thinks about it, before focusing back on the guy.

"The breadshop? After hours. You teach me a little bit about baking at the same time and we have a legitimate reason to be spending time alone together that won't rouse suspicion."

Colin almost argues that he's not going to train a competitor until he remembers, first, they're not actually going to be baking, and second, he can always say he's training Detlef for the inevitable days when he is sick and can't bake. He nods.

"Bakery, tonight. I'll try to think how to set things up."

He nods in return, a little nervous but feeling at least slightly better about this. Detlef heads out, and several hours later he's knocking on the bakery door, dressed in loose clothing as if that would somehow help. It certainly won't hide his identity, but it's the best idea he'd had.

Colin opens the door and ushers him in. A fire is going in the hearth. A basin of water is on the floor before it, as well as a potted plant and an unpolished stone. The windows are tightly shut.

He looks at Detlef, growing somewhat nervous himself when he senses it in the other man. “We don’t have to do this,” he says quietly.

It's nice to have an out, but he gives the other man a shake of his head and a half-smile.

"Have to? No. We don't. But I think we've both chosen to at this point, because it might be nice to know what all we can do. Even though I've no idea how to really measure that." He plops down on the ground next to the basin of water, looking at it with some curiosity before it hits him why that's probably there. All right. Moving on.

"What's the stone for?"

Open | Some used your name for glory

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